The Underwear Rules of Masking Up

Treat your masks as well as you treat your underwear. If this list confuses you, just substitute the word underwear every time I use the word mask. And remember your mom with laughter!

Always wear a clean mask every time you go out. You never know when you will end up in the hospital.

Your mask should be snug but not revealing. After all, some things are meant to be kept private.

Don’t pick or scratch at your mask in public. People will talk.

Don’t use the same mask two days in a row. You will smell. They have to be washed.

If your masks have the days of the week marked on them, be sure to wear the right one on the right day.

Never trade masks. Who knows where their mask has been!

If the mask gets ruined, has worn fabric or elastic, toss it out. Show some respect for yourself.  

Discard your mask safely so that others don’t aren’t exposed to your ‘you know what.’

Don’t quit. Don’t cave in. It is all well worth it in the end. It is not success you are after in such times but survival. Be survivors! Before you’ve run out of options, the Son of Man will have arrived. (From Matthew 10:21-23, MSG)

Google is my Mother

Do you remember the good old days of you and Mother? Oh, weren’t they swell? Unless you remember the parts where she said things like this.

” You cannot wear that out of this house!”

“He’s not old enough to drive and no you are not going out with him.”

I don’t care what the other kids do, you are not doing it!”

To which we sometimes sneakily responded under our breath.

Lead me not into temptation? Ha! Follow me I know a short cut!

Then there were the promises of the future.

If you do the thing you need to do when you need to do it, then someday you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them. (Zig Ziglar)

Sigh. Oh yes, the good old days of Mother. Governor Andrew Cuomo said that there are two things in life that will never leave you, The eye of God and the love of a mother. Life comes with a manual called Mother!

But where are we now? Many of our mothers have passed on and we are bereft. Fear not. Google has risen to take her place! Bravely ask questions like this.

Where is the best place to eat in this city? (Lots of recommendations with warnings to check opening!)

Are fascinators in style again? (Apparently yes!)

Google your name to see what shows up. It’s like Mom calling instructions out the door after you!)

Am I too fat? (Like Mom, it says you are perfect just the way you are; if you check the right web site!)

Job openings? Google hints, just like Mom, that you can do anything you set your mind to do.)

Who will win the election? (Google and Mom say “Be sure that you vote!)

Google is my Mother.

Its heart in the right place.

Google is my Mother,

Though it doesn’t have her face.

Google is my Mother,

Through thick and tall and fat.

Google is my Mother.

It even knows where I am at!

Money Money Money

The chips are down. The truth is out. All we really care about is the economy, not the people.

Listen to the news. Money, money; keep the economy going. Watch out for the stock market!

Folks they are all wrong in their yelling!

“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.” (Mark Twain)

Our evaluation of things is skewed. We’ve taught ourselves that more money equals better product. Not so.

Maybe that is why some still deny the Christ. He doesn’t charge an arm and a leg.

In fact Jesus gave his life freely for no other reason than that he loves us. He freely offers us forgiveness of sin and eternal life. Then he gives us the Holy Spirit to live in us.

And we say—“doesn’t cost enough…must not be worth much.” That is a lie.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”(John 8:32, NIV)

Prayer- Lord, forgive us for undervaluing your free gift to us, the most priceless gift ever offered to us. Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EVERYDAY CHRISTIAN

By Nine (Formerly Brenda)

It’s not a big issue really but I have one phone that sticks on the number 9. No matter when I try to dial a number, it always seems to have a nine in it. And the nine sticks firmly and throws off my dialing finger.

Now my phones came in a set of four so it’s not really a problem except that no matter where I am, that sticky phone seems to be the one I pick up!

I thought about how my life’s sticky keys; my trouble spots, that stir me into trouble every single day. Only if I turn my stickiness over to God will I ever get unstuck.

I think I will call myself nine…to remind myself that sticky doesn’t have to be me…only my phone.

Our isolation may have uncovered some of our stickiness. There is only one way to cope with our bad habits. .Let us not despair, for with God’s help we can conquer anything.

You might like to read Romans 8:26-37, but for now I offer you Romans 8:26, NIV.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (Romans 8:26, NIV)

Prayer- Lord, you know our stuck-ness. Help us to be more like you! Amen.

 

 

 

Missing Baseball?

This baseball game looks a bit different but perhaps you will enjoy the irony of it!

Christ is our umpire. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. (Colossians 3:15, NASB)

The rules aren’t three strikes you are out.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me; up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22, NIV)

Team Huddles are encouraged.He encourages team huddles. Where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”(Matthew 18:20, NIV)

God loves to win. He keeps playing till he wins souls.

Truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish. (Matthew 18:13-14, NIV)

And folks, never argue with the umpire.

And let the peace from Christ rule, act as umpire continually in your hearts. Let him decide and settle all questions that arise in your minds.And be thankful, giving praise to God always. (From Colossians 3:15)

Prayer- Lord, Lets play ball! Amen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weird Thoughts to Make Your Day

One
Q. Why is a dentist like a far north adventurer on a polar expedition?
A. One goes on a polar expedition and the other expedites your molar.

Two
The invention of the shovel was ground-breaking, but the invention of the broom swept the nation!

Three
One moment you are twenty in the seventies and the next, you are seventy in the twenties!

Yes these are definitely silly groaners. I fully admit it, but sometimes a little laughing cheers up someone who has the right to be groaning.

My groans are many and my heart is faint.”(Lamentations 1:22 b, NIV)

And in the midst of that, along comes the Holy Spirit who groans on our behalf. Praise God!

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (Romans 8:26, NIV)

Rest in the knowledge that no matter what, God’s got this!

Prayer- Lord, whatever our groans today, we thank you that you hear us. Amen.

 

 

 

 

Brenda on Dela’s Voice

You should be able to find it on the address below or on Dela’s Voice on Facebook.

It’s an hour long and you will find out much more about me than you ever hoped to!!

https://www.facebook.com/delasvoice/videos/2588500427927092/

Let me know what you think! Brenda

I Told You So

 

I Told You So

How often have you heard these words…’If I were you… and I told you so?’  How often do we offer unasked advice to friends and family? How often do people do the same for us? We all mean well though, don’t we?

Do we listen to our elders who are full of life experience?  Do any of us pray before offering up our two bits of wisdom? How do we make the right decision when everyone around us offers differing advice?

Rehoboam made the wrong choice and it landed him in no end of trouble.

But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’?” (1 Kings 12:8, 9, NIV)

He ignored the advice of seasoned experts and followed the advice of the young men and said, “My father made your yoke heavy; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.”(1 Kings 12:14, NIV)

 

This didn’t turn out too well for Rehoboam. You can read the rest of the story for yourself. (Hint: things went down hill from there.)  (1 Kings 18:12)

 

Oh, the consequences and guilt we bear when we make the wrong choice and someone even has the gall to point it out! Remember what happened in Acts 27?

 

But the centurion, instead of listening to what Paul said, followed the advice of the pilot and of the owner of the ship.

After they had gone a long time without food, Paul stood up before them and said: “Men, you should have taken my advice not to sail from Crete; then you would have spared yourselves this damage and loss. (Acts 27:11, 21, NIV)

Common sense told the centurion to take the advice of the pilot and the man who owned the ship, but they happened to be wrong. Were their decisions based on business sense rather than common sense? They owned the ship and they had ‘the right of say.’

What do you do when your leader is telling you one thing and your heart is telling you another?

And do you know who your leader really is? (HINT—it is GOD!)

Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out. (Proverbs 10:9, NIV)

Integrity-The possession of firm principles;  the quality of possessing and steadfastly adhering to high moral principles or professional standards.

We hear different advice everyday and we must learn to discern what is right and true. Then we take courage and follow through on what we know to be right. Saint Paul leads by example in Acts 21.

After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabuscame came down from Judea.  Coming over to us, he took Paul’s belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, “The Holy Spirit says, ‘In this way the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.’”

When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem.  Then Paul answered, “Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, “The Lord’s will be done.” (Acts 21:10-14, NIV)

How did Paul come to this decision? How did he know for sure? He listened to the Holy Spirit.

“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. (Acts 20:22-23, NIV)

Brenda J Wood aims for integrity in her everyday life and rejoices in calling you to do the same.

Are you looking for a daily devotional? Follow Brenda at everydaychristian.com or listen to her radio program, Heartfelt, at hopestreamradio.com

You can also follow Brenda at:

– http://heartfeltdevotionals.com
-http://www.twitter.com/size10hopefil

https://www.facebook.com/brendawoodspeaker