I didn’t want to….I couldn’t make myself do it….too busy crying from the minute it arrived at my house.
What’s that? Didn’t want to read my own new book? Cared not to see the words in actual print? No. Read it 100 times while writing, editing, preparing for book launch.
Worked myself into a frenzy of grief from 2:00 when it arrived, till 7:20 pm…..ate plenty to ‘comfort’ my heart. Here is news again for all…your drug of choice does not make your heart happy….
Anyway, finally at 7:20 common sense reared its pretty little head once more —-because the icecream was all gone—-and I picked up the book and opened to the dedication page.
For Ron, who walked with me every step of the way.
Ron read Meeting Myself: Snippets from a binging and bulging mind. Then I sent it into the Word Alive Press contest last summer. He died shortly after that and then a week or so later I got the winning news.
And the thought came to me that Ron knew that his job was done here. He’d seen me safely into healing and completeness. He knew that I knew that God has made all things in me well. He knew that bulimia and its related attacks had no more power over me. He knew I had the strength to carry on because I’d found the Christ, the truth of all life.
And then I realized that I’d better live like it…….