I’ve been wanting to write about this for ages but the time never seemed right/write? You hear lots about being forgiven on my blog, but there is a lot to be said for FORGIVING.
For the past few years, I’ve been accused of something I did not do and it has been hard to just be quiet and say nothing. The unfairness of the thing bothered Ron terribly and he was angry on my account.
God expects us to forgive. When Ron was dying, I asked him if he had been able to forgive and though he was barely able to talk by then, he uttered out a firm YEP! I told him that I too had forgiven the people involved. We found joint peace together.
So we forgave. and the wonderful thing is that forgiving gives peace and comfort and even relief.
As for the other people, I do not know. If they continue to hold a grudge, I am sorry for them. Unforgiveness affects health,well being, peace, comfort, conscience, emotions, blood pressure, diabetes and on and on.
So here is the thing. The new year is only a few days away. Wouldn’t it be great to start it with a forgiving attitude? Maybe you were abused, or your family doesn’t treat you right or your boss was unfair or the banker doesn’t understand your problems or whatever. Whatever! Get over it. Give it to God and live free of the torment of the past. Find peace. God is just waiting to help you do that.
I put connections to Pat Day’s blog on the topic and will add one from Tammy Weins. They give more insite on the how of the thing…it is possible for you to forgive…….I pray you will.
Today is Ron’s special day. It is the day we’ll all talk about what a great guy he is (sorry-Sometimes I forget and talk in present tense.) We will share memories with one another. Then we will all eat birthday cake. (Yes, you heard right. I ordered ten cakes from Costco. They say “Welcome Home.”) After all, we are celebrating the day he went to be with Jesus.
Ron thoroughly disliked ‘funeral’ food. Musty tuna salad with mayo and pickles, ham chopped up beyond recognition, egg salad without onion, and phoney turkey made him leery. He would say, “There’s hardly ever a decent roast beef sandwich in the lot.”
Of course there’s always squares. Diabetics don’t eat squares. You can see why he often talked of a Wendy’s burger after these occasions.
So that is our day. After the cake we will all go home. Most everyone will chat on the way. They will discuss how awful the food was, how great the music, and how maudlin the family speeches.
But today, I drive in lonely silence toward a lonely home.
Brenda J Wood
Most moms learn to tiptoe in the mornings so that everyone else sleeps in. This means we can have a shower without short people yelling “Mommy, Mommy”, under the bathroom door. It might mean we get our first sip of coffee without questions like “Where are my sneakers,” or “Honey, did you do the laundry? I can’t find any clean underwear.) As time goes on, we get used to this silence. It becomes our way of life.
Hubby works late and we shush the children so he can sleep in on a Saturday. Or maybe he finally gets a chance at an afternoon nap and we herd the crowd to the backyard. A teenager may not be at their best of a morning, so we whisper through the early hours because it is more peaceful for everybody.
When Ron and I retired to our little house in Innisfil, I continued this habit. Ron seldom had enough sleep through the night and I’ve always been a 5 am kind of gal. I made my coffee by the light of the fridge door so that the overhead kitchen light wouldn’t glare toward the back and wake him. I sometimes read by flashlight. I took a shower after he awoke.
When cancer entered our life, that quiet silence became even more necessary. Even though Ron’s hearing began to fail badly, noise desturbed him. I set the TV so that I could read the words on the screen. I turned the ringer down on the living room phone. I closed the windows against traffic.
Today I slammed a cupboard door by mistake…and listened for Ron’s feet to hit the floor in the bedroom.
And felt my loss in a new way…..because now my silence doesn’t matter…..so I guess it is ok then, to cry aloud.
Brenda J Wood
That apparently is the problem with December’s free book! No one wrote and told me they wanted it..so it sits languidly on the shelf…lonely…wanting desperately to speak into someone’s life and yet afraid of never being chosen.
I used to feel the same way in grade school when they picked sides for the lunch time baseball games…
And now here I sit again…holding the lonely book from December….and feeling lonely for its loneliness…
Brenda J Wood http://www.heartfeltdevotionals.wordpress.com