Messages for the Grieving

Our 49th Wedding Anniversary

Everyone tells me that the first year is hard simply because of all the ‘firsts’ alone. March 2nd, our 49th wedding anniverary loomed in front of me. Family and friends went out of their way to be there for me.

So many called and wanted to spend time with me that day. People who have my devotional book ‘Heartfelt, 366 Devotions for Common Sense Living’ read about our marriage on the day and called or sent E mails.

Some kept secret the fact that family would travel hundreds of mile to be here. What a surprise! This sounds simple until you factor in three children under five, March weather and time off work. Family fixed my dryer, sat with me and on occasion cried with me. Of all women I am most blessed. Thank you all for remembering…..I am remembering you all with thanksgiving in my prayers.

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Functioning Grief

Thanks to Bonnie Dean of Memory Bears for allowing me to reprint her post here. Her full address is at the bottom of the page…  Pop in and say Hi. You will like her site!

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There is ample information today on the process of grieving. All you have to do is pick up any book and therein you will find instructions and a schedule for grieving.

Some information can bring clarity to the grieving process; too much information brings only confusion. This confusion can add unnecessary weight to your grief.

The sole authority concerning your grief is you. No one else can experience your grief. No one else can walk in your shoes. Others can have empathy and sympathy to some degree, but the grief is yours, only you know the depth and pain of it.

If you, in your grief, are able to function with the affairs of daily living, then you are doing okay. Grief is now part of your life. The pain will lessen with time and life will continue, as it should. Your grief, your sense of loss will always be with you.

memorybearsbybonnie.wordpress.com/

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Feelings

My friend asked if I felt less like a pea in a drum. So I am thinking a pea in an oil barrel drum…but then I thought…maybe he meant a pea in a ‘musical’ drum. Either one sounds awful. Which would you rather be? A very tiny pea in a big frightening barrel drum filled with oil or a pea rattling around in a drum banged by a guy in a parade?

Ouch…unless I am that pea, and God is that drum and all is well…because God is good all the time. All the time, God is good…

Valentines for Annabells

As you might expect, Valentine’s Day is not everyone’s favorite holiday. This, my first year without Ron loomed ahead as insurmountable.

Then Diane suggested we spend the evening together. Barb offered to cook us a ‘simple’ dinner at her home. So we ‘aloners’ gathered together for spectacular food, endearing memories, hysterical laughter and deepening friendships.

We even gave ourselves a name, The Annabells. This stems from Anna who worshipped in the temple after her husband passed and from our intention to live our lives with joy.

And I want to thank others who cared enough to send Valentine hugs, cards and kind wishes my way.

Yes, Valentine’s Day was different this year; but friends and loved ones made it good just the same…

Gratefully Eating Well

Are you cooking for yourself? Are you eating well? A friend asked me these qustions this week.

Cooking for myself? Not hardly because it is not necessary right at this moment.

Eating well? Now that is a whole different affair. How could I not be eating well? Darling ladies  stocked my freezer with bits and pieces in the last few weeks and I find myself with the ability to choose from a near restaurant-like menu. Shall I eat Lasagna, Potato Soup or a Chicken this day? Or should I investigate spaghetti, pork chops and more? Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

I pridefully tried to refuse these gifts when they were offered. Someone else needs it more, I declared.All of that might be true, but especially on a day when I am a little teary, those meals thoroughly feed my body, mind, soul and spirit. I remember each giver with thanks and great appreciation for their kindnesses to me……  and vow to be grateful…just because I can.

Philippians 1:3-I thank my God in all my remembrance of you (AMP)

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5 thoughts on “Messages for the Grieving

  1. this is beautiful…so inspirational to me….wish I could remember most of the wording in here to spread to all, especially my children and grandchildren….thank you

  2. love reading your comments..enouraging words..scripture and poetry etc..hang in there…he told us it would not be easy but to trust in him. when i am down i take time to reflect on him more. he is closer than we think. luv u lots..your hubby would be so very proud of you and your writing. GOD BLESS U.love joan

  3. Being your neighbour, I have seen you through Ron’s illness and through your grieving and you have handled it all with such grace and dignity. Not only that, but you have shared your feelings and thoughts with so many and given them comfort and encouragement. You are truly an amazing woman.

  4. I am glad to visit your blog. I m grieving the loss of my precious Mama on February 1sr. I m going through the firsts, and trying to deal with the memories that pop up so often. A hymn, an article, something that somewhat says, so many things and the tears come. At the same time a friendship that I hoped was going to be a long, love partnership, ended. Kind of a double whammy, so I m finding it difficult to get right side up. Little things are helping and I am trying, but sometimes it feels that the harder I try the harder it is to handle, so I just give up and let things go. I never knew grief like this, even when I lost my daughter tragically years ago. I no know there is a lot I need to learn about grief.

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