Henry, the Bed Bug

A calorie is the bed bug of the weight loss world. It crawls into your closet at night and sews all your clothes two sizes smaller than your hips.

It eats the good stuff on your plate so that you are left with only the fat-filled bits that swell your upper arms into sausage rolls.

It jumps up and down on your stomach during TV shows so that you have to  trampoline to the cupboard for potato chips.

It ties knots in your exercise shoes so that you can’t get your shoes on and go to the gym.

It chews up the bills in your purse so that you can’t afford to buy lettuce and instead can afford only chocolate chip cookies.

It steers your car into places like Dairy Queen and then demands second helpings.

It stirs up words  in my mouth so that I can tell my weight-loss leader that I ate everything exactly right and that her scales are wrong.

I am calling my calorie Henry.

If I called it Brenda, I would have to take all the blame for my advanced weight and that is just not fair!

So there!

H–e–n–r–y? Where are you Henry????

If you leave me now, I will have to make better choices!


Don’t go!!!!


You get back here RIGHT NOW!!!


Brenda J Wood