I’ve had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing. ~Buddy Hackett~
I bought an orange coat with our farm tax money. Young and foolish? Certainly. Sorry for ever after? Absolutely. Many a marriage flew gone down the drain for less. What made the difference in ours? Yes, my hubby was tender-hearted. Yes, he loved me more than the tax money.
However, before our marriage, we consciously decided that the word divorce would never cross our lips. We were in it through thick and then. Ron suffered through episodes like the coat while I suffered through episodes of shame and personal unforgiveness. In fact I wore that coat to shreds for the shame of it.
Ron also suffered through sleepless nights when I woke screaming after nightmares of childhood abuse.
I could continue with my list of personal failures. Yet if you asked Ron who got the best deal in our marriage, he would tell you that he did. Go figure.
That’s what forgiving love looks like. Each one wills to forgive the other. Each one loves the other just the way they are……and helps them grow to a new, healthier place.
Malachi 2:16– For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate]. (AMP)
Prayer: Lord when we choose getting our own way over love, call us to our senses….Amen.
Here is a sample from my new book–Meeting Myself, snippets from a binging and bulging mind…..soon to be on the shelves
Luke 6:27, 33– But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’do that. (NIV)
When I read verses like this, I knew that God expected me to forgive my (now dead) abuser. And I did. But when He told me to go to the cemetery, lay hands and flowers on the tombstone to complete the job, I balked. Some 25 years passed. Circumstances placed me in that graveyard and God spoke the same words to me again.
Body trembling, I forced myself toward the memorial stone. Aloud, I prayed forgiveness for him and healing for me. “God,”I said, “I am sorry. I don’t have any flowers.”I turned to walk away and found two silk flowers lying on the path I had just entered. “They’ll blow away, Lord,”I said, “but I’ll put them there anyway.”Then I noticed two small holes, equally spaced, at the stone’s base. I put the mauve flower in one. The mauve stood for mourning, for surely God mourned with me in the midst of sins committed against me. I put the white one in the other opening. White, for purity, because He had made my heart pure by wiping it clean of all bitterness.
Dear Ones, let us not postpone when God tells us to do something, for in that something lies our healing.