The Pregnant Pause of Grief, by Brenda J. Wood (Word Alive, 2013)
“I’ve trusted God and His promises for years. Will they hold true in widowhood? I don’t know yet.” [p. 4]
So begins Brenda J. Wood’s poignant account of her “first trimester of widowhood” after the loss of her beloved husband, Ron. The book is written as a series of journal entries, in a conversational style as if Brenda were talking with the reader via email.
She writes about whatever’s on her mind that day, from spontaneous tears in public to fear of forgetting Ron to what she’s learning from God on how to cope. As hard as this new life is, she’s determined to push forward into it, even to laugh again. Ron wouldn’t want her to give in to the misery.
Most of the book is written during the third month ‘AR’ (After Ron’s passing), but the final pages include Ron’s testimony of the difference God made in his life, with brief notes from Brenda taking us past the anniversary of his death.
Brenda and Ron weren’t a perfect couple, but they loved each other deeply and for almost 50 years. One of the main take-aways from this book is the call to love our family and friends well, while we have them in our lives.
It’s a book that can help those who haven’t lost a spouse to understand the thoughts, emotions and needs of a grieving widow or widower. For example, I didn’t know that finances are often in short supply in the early months until the government, insurances etc catch up on the paperwork.
I think it would be a good resource to let newly-grieving readers know what they’re going through is normal.
One of the things I found most encouraging was Brenda’s determination to remember how God had looked after them in the past and her choice to believe that even in this new, painful place, God still had the power and the compassion to care for her.
Brenda J. Wood is a motivational speaker and writer based in Ontario. She’s also written a book to help children deal with grief, The Big Red Chair. You can read the first chapter of The Pregnant Pause of Grief or learn more about the author on her website, heartfeltdevotionals.com.