Finding Purpose

After posting this a.m. about my need for purpose, I found this note from Ron. It is taped to my desk and surely I must have seen it before??? But I don’t remember it. Here it is…..

Hello B. J. W.

Just a little note to let B.J.W know she is the love of my life for the rest of my life, which should last for another 60 years or so.

Be ready, My Love, to tell the world of my God and my love for you.

Love R.M.W.

God answers your prayers in the most astonishing ways…..

Provision? Provided.

I am in limbo with finances right now. You might not realize it but the passing of a spouse reorganizes everything,   including your income. I don’t know where I stand till next month when my new life takes over. I won’t say I am frantic, but I have been a little anxious as I wait.

Then I read my Hubby’s words from my own daily Devotional, Heartfelt, 366 devotions for common sense living. Here they are, posted on this morning’s (The rest of the story follows tomorrow.)

Lamentations- 3:22-23The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end: they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness (RSV).

by Ronald Wood

I wasn’t surprised when the boss told me that we’d be going to a four- day work week. Business was poor and an even slower winter season lay ahead. I sure was scared. I was 55; the economy was in a slump.  Everyone wanted to tell me about older men who were losing their jobs. I went home and told my wife. I reminded her that God was faithful and that He has never let us down. I think I convinced her but I was having a  hard time convincing myself! I was praying, but I feared what lay in store.

Monday provided less work than Friday. My day off was supposed to  be on Wednesday but I left by noon. I always find it harder to pretend to be busy than to actually be busy. I faced a future of three days pay
for the week. It would never cover our living expenses.

Having financial difficulties? No matter the problem, God has always been faithful and He will be so again today. Make a list of all the times God has met your need. Why would He change now?

Prayer: Lord, thanks. Today, we find it hard to see the bright side, but as always it is you. Remind us again of your past faithfulness to us. Amen

Ron’s Farewell Gift to Us

My DH (darling husband) Ron’s celebration service was all we wanted it to be.  Country music star, Walt Daly,  our neighbour and friend, sang this song as the closing tribute. However he sang it from Ron to all of us…”will they know how much I loved them.” I don’t have a video of Walt but thanks to Carley, here is the song by another performer.

Remember that you are loved. Tell someone today that you love them……

Brenda J Wood

Ron’s Special Day

Today is Ron’s special day. It is the day we’ll all talk about what a great guy he is (sorry-Sometimes I forget and talk in present tense.) We will share memories with one another. Then we will all eat birthday cake. (Yes, you heard  right. I ordered ten cakes from Costco. They say “Welcome Home.”) After all, we are celebrating the day he went to be with Jesus.

Ron thoroughly disliked  ‘funeral’ food. Musty tuna salad with mayo and pickles, ham chopped up beyond recognition, egg salad without onion, and phoney turkey  made him leery. He would say, “There’s hardly ever a decent roast beef sandwich in the lot.”

Of course there’s always squares. Diabetics don’t eat squares. You can see why he often talked of a Wendy’s burger after these occasions.

So that is our day. After the cake we will all go home. Most everyone will chat on the way. They will discuss how awful the food was, how great the music, and how maudlin the family speeches.

But today, I drive in lonely silence toward  a lonely home.

Brenda J Wood

How Do I Love Thee?

You brought food. You cut our grass. You shaved Ron because he couldn’t do it himself (and because I only do legs.) You covered for me at work.

You left sweet messages on the phone. “Don’t worry about calling back. Just wanted to tell you that we love you.” You sent cards with encouraging Bible verses. You helped me lift and turn Ron so that he would be a bit more comfortable.

You picked up perscriptions, and shopped for essentials. You brought flowers to cheer us. You delivered  all kinds of medical equipment to make Ron’s last days more bearable.

You brought your guitars and sang us songs of joy and comfort.

You lowered the flag in our yard to half-mast.

You visited and shared funny stories. You encouraged us. You prayed with us and for us.

“What is that you have in your hand, ” asks God?

And you answered him with your talents of giving, baking, writing , thoughtness, encouragement and more.

You gave us time. The things you did let me spend every minute with Ron. I didn’t have to cook or think about house upkeep or shopping trips. You were Jesus with skin.  You didn’t just talk the talk, you walked the walk.

You cared about us more than you cared about yourself. You took the gift God gave you and you gave it to us.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways? For us, they are beyond measure.

Brenda J Wood


The Deafening Silence of Noise

Most moms learn to tiptoe in the mornings so that everyone else sleeps in. This means we can have a shower without short people yelling “Mommy, Mommy”, under the bathroom door. It might mean we get our first sip of coffee without questions like “Where are my sneakers,”  or “Honey, did you do the laundry? I can’t find any clean underwear.) As time goes on, we get used to this silence. It becomes our way of life.

Hubby works late and we shush the children so he can sleep in on a Saturday. Or maybe he finally gets a chance at an afternoon nap and we herd the crowd to the backyard. A teenager may not be at their best of a morning, so we whisper through the early hours because it is more peaceful for everybody.

When Ron and I retired to our little house in Innisfil, I continued this habit. Ron seldom had enough sleep through the night and I’ve always been a 5 am kind of gal. I made my coffee by the light of the fridge door so that the overhead kitchen light wouldn’t glare toward the back and wake him. I sometimes read by flashlight. I took a shower after he awoke.

When cancer entered our life, that quiet silence became even more necessary. Even though Ron’s hearing began to fail badly, noise desturbed him. I set the TV so that I could read the words on the screen.  I turned the ringer down on the living room phone. I closed the windows against traffic.

Today I slammed a cupboard door by mistake…and listened for Ron’s feet to hit the floor in the bedroom.

And felt my loss in a new way…..because now my silence doesn’t matter… I guess it is ok then, to cry aloud.

Brenda J Wood

Why Not Healed?

I remember reading a story about a magical monkey’s paw that gave each owner three wishes.Eventually it came into the hands of a couple reeling with grief after they’d lost their son in a mutilating accident. They struggled with their wishes. I forget the first two; wealth or some such thing. Then they left the paw on the mantle, each secretly wanting the  courage to wish their son back.

Finally, the mom, in trememdous emotional agony, grabbed the paw and made that fatal wish.

There arose a frightening gasp as the earth split and yielded up the boy from his grave. They heard a dragging foot, wails of pain and more… the son returned, looking just as awful as when they buried him.

I always thought it was a stupid story. Why didn’t they plan ahead? Why didn’t they use the other wishes correctly? Why didn’t they ask for the son to be healed or else leave well enough alone?

I prayed for DH (Darling Husband) Ron to be healed.And by God’s Grace, no monkey paw included…he was. No more pain, suffering or sorrow. Right now, he is still shaking hands with all those who went before..but only after sitting on God’s lap and soaking in God’s love.

Brenda J Wood