Most moms learn to tiptoe in the mornings so that everyone else sleeps in. This means we can have a shower without short people yelling “Mommy, Mommy”, under the bathroom door. It might mean we get our first sip of coffee without questions like “Where are my sneakers,” or “Honey, did you do the laundry? I can’t find any clean underwear.) As time goes on, we get used to this silence. It becomes our way of life.
Hubby works late and we shush the children so he can sleep in on a Saturday. Or maybe he finally gets a chance at an afternoon nap and we herd the crowd to the backyard. A teenager may not be at their best of a morning, so we whisper through the early hours because it is more peaceful for everybody.
When Ron and I retired to our little house in Innisfil, I continued this habit. Ron seldom had enough sleep through the night and I’ve always been a 5 am kind of gal. I made my coffee by the light of the fridge door so that the overhead kitchen light wouldn’t glare toward the back and wake him. I sometimes read by flashlight. I took a shower after he awoke.
When cancer entered our life, that quiet silence became even more necessary. Even though Ron’s hearing began to fail badly, noise desturbed him. I set the TV so that I could read the words on the screen. I turned the ringer down on the living room phone. I closed the windows against traffic.
Today I slammed a cupboard door by mistake…and listened for Ron’s feet to hit the floor in the bedroom.
And felt my loss in a new way…..because now my silence doesn’t matter…..so I guess it is ok then, to cry aloud.
Brenda J Wood
I cherish your prayers…and so did Ron.
…..so I guess it is ok then, to cry aloud……and pray aloud, and read God’s Word aloud, and sing and praise, rejoice, celebrate, and thank and worship, aloud, and write, shout, and yell, and dance, and ever talk to Jesus ALOUD!!!!!!!! ANYTIME DAY OR NIGHT!
Be free to let it all out, He, the trinity, the hosts of heaven and earth are used to it, and encourage us to adjust to their healthy ways, Spirit, Soul, Body & Emotions.
I love you honey. Big HUGZZZZ
Rosemary Victoria Australia
I Love you honey. Big HUGZZZZZZ.
I understand what you mean. Moms and wives get used to caring for and about others – continually – and it takes a while to break the habit! Hugs to you dear friend, you truly are abundantly gifted with words. It’s OK to cry – whether it be loudly or silently – each time I think of you I quietly cry alongside you.
Feeling your pain. You really can tell it like it is in a wonderfully personal way.
May you continue to rest in Him, knowing that you have a strong prayer team behind you.
love you lots,
Jan
I am choked with emotion over this post. You are so real. Bless you Brenda.