Finding Your Own Life

It is a month today and we are still standing. Surprised that the world has moved on, surprised that we have been able to move through the motions of life and finding the fog lifting a bit.

In all the ‘widow’ books I’ve been reading, there is one common denominator. There is no right or wrong.This applies to any grief,  I think. Your grief is yours and yours alone. Don’t let anyone tell you what to say or how to behave or when to go back to work or when (if ever) to take off your wedding rings. Don’t let anyone tell you when it is time to ‘stop coddling’ Mom or crying.

Again, I quote from the movie, The  Help.

“Go find your own life.” We as a family are learning to find ours and we invite you to do the same with yours. Life is too big a gift to waste it in any way.No one else has the right to ‘live your life.’

Saddling Up

My own words keep coming back to remind me once again…Today from Everyday Christain and my book HeartfeltDevotionals for Common Sense Living.

2 Timothy 4:7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith (NASB).

Well Grounded

Statues were a mystery; I was ashamed to say,

Until some dear soul enlightened me about all this one day.

Horse statues standing upright, tall, two legs upon the ground,

Were carrying well a warrior who on battleground was found.

And if the horse was posed with one leg gamely held on high,

That rider suffered battle wounds and sadly then did die.

And finally if all four legs are settled on the ground,

That rider died a natural death, in bed, all safe and sound.

For us, then when our end comes, let it be said and right,

We were found faithful ever, still strong and true and bright.

For if we choose to follow Christ o’er life’s long battle ground,

Our glorious mount’s found standing with two legs on the ground.

Prayer: Lord, may we always fight the good fight, finish the course, and keep the faith. In Christ’s name. Amen.

More Time

“Death is a big relief to them.”  This comment shocked me at first but as I pondered it, I sensed its truth. Of course Ron didn’t want to leave us but his heart was turning toward heaven long before he went there.

Little by little the foods Ron really loved became less imoprtant to him.  He, the hamburger king (who would eat it three times a day if possible, ) lost his taste for Wendy’s and even homemade meatloaf. I kept buying treats to tempt his appetite but one nibble and the rest would sit abandoned.

He chided me for running around and cleaning, doing dishes and so on. “Just sit down and be quiet with me.” he’d say. “You can do that stuff later.” So I did.

Eventually he didn’t even want his beloved country music playing in the background.

The closer he got to God, the less he craved earth’s pleasures. . He wasn’t able to do the things he used to do so he enjoyed the things he could, like prayer.

Less time for earth’s pleasures gave him more time for fellowship with God, and the more time he spent with God, the more he  looked forward to being with Him.

What if we started craving fellowship with God long before He called us home? More time with God? That would mean less time to binge eat or drink or dope up, less time in the mall buying stuff we don’t need, less time in unforgivness. Less time__________________? And more time with God, getting ready for the time  we will be with Him in a brand new way.

A Funny Feeling

We laughed and ate and shared our scribbles. It was one of the best Writers’  Nest meetings ever, but it left me with  a peculiar and unrecognised feeling. Finally it came to me. Joy. It was joy. I was having a wonderful time!

At first I felt guilty. How could I be having fun without Ron? Then I remembered how much my Ron enjoyed life and I thought about what another friend told me.

“Take care of yourself, Brenda. Ron would want you to do that.”  And he would.

So thank you Dear Writing Friends—for fun and laughter and for liking my new book. I wrote The Big Red Chair to comfort our grandchildren.  Perhaps it will one day comfort yours! It is going to press soon.

Psalm 30:5bWeeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning (AMP).

Psalm 104:33I will sing to the Lord as long as I live: I will sing praise to my God while I have any being (AMP).







about the author: Brenda Wood

“I believe Jesus is the answer to every question.”

Brenda Wood is a motivational speaker, writer and author of Heartfelt, 366 Devotions for Common Sense Living.
She is also a recovered bulimic who has gained and lost several 1000 pounds over the years! She understands the pain of overweight and the agony of life with an eating disorder. Brenda is known for her common
sense wisdom, sense of humor and quirky comments.

Common Sense Devotionals for Every Day of the Year

Daily devotionals from author and inspirational speaker Brenda J. Wood. Get your copy of Heartfelt: 366 Devotions for Common Sense Living today!

Freshly Refreshed

So many people have used these words to me. Fresh…your grief is still so fresh…. So I decided to look up the word fresh and then refresh, in scripture. I just used the small concordance in my Amplified version.

Because you might also need refreshing, I am sharing what I learned with you.

Psalm 23:2. He makes me lie down in fresh pastures. As a kid, I lay in the fresh pastures at our farm, inhaling the intoxicating blooms alfalfa and clover. My bed of greens cushioned and comforted and I could see the blue of the heavens above. Today God offers cushioning and comfort when we fix our eyes on him. Verse 3 adds this note. This peace happens not because we are worth it, but because it is God’s very nature to offer it.

Song of Solomon 2:5– Refresh me with apples, sustain me with raisins for I am sick with love. I guess you can say that I am sick with love…missing my Honey, but proper eating will make a difference in how I feel physically.

It is three weeks since Ron went to be with Jesus. I’ve read a ton of books that say you can change a habit in 21 days. Stop smoking, lose weight, stop biting your nails. Don’t you believe it. 21 days have not made me prefer living without him and I doubt another 21 will either.

Isaiah 28:12– this verse seems to refer back to #10. True refreshing comes from God’s Word, precept upon precept, line upon line….

Acts 3:19-Repent, because revival and refreshing comes from the presence of the Lord. Now we all knew this, right, but  a reminder didn’t hurt me and likely won’t bother you any.

Brenda J Wood

Choose Life

And I’ve been having a pity party for the last two. That’s why you haven’t seen me here.

“Get out of the house. ” I heard this from three separate people in three different countries. I choose not to listen. It felt good to cry…so I did. And then I added a widget to my blog that tells my topics. The larger the letters the more times it’s been mentioned. Check for yourself…it is Common Sense… And I thought I’d better get some.

Then someone reminded me that even in laughter the heart may ache —-but you can decide which side of the ache to stand on. (Oh,who said that? Let me think! It was me!) I found the scribbled words I added at the last minute to my message at Ron’s going home to Jesus Celebration.

And I decided to stand on the side of joy for Ron’s sake. Because I don’t have to feel happy to put a smile on my face. Because God is faithful and true no matter what. Because God will tell me day by day what to do. Because my needs are being provided for in a myriad of ways. Because I choose to choose life…..

Oh and did I tell you? Just after I posted the note I found from Ron about “being ready to tell the world of my God and my love for you”…I got a call for a speaking engagement. God is working his plan in his way…. and I am going along for the ride.

Brenda J Wood


The Comedian and the Gangster

Imagine a clean routine you aren’t ashamed to show to your kids/ This is worth the watch…and it will make you laugh……The link is below.
 Cagney and Bob Hope at a Friar’s Club Meeting back when actors were real performers. Bob Hope was 52 and James Cagney was 56. For the young folks, here is something you probably have never seen before and, unfortunately, may never see again.
For us older folks, this is the best of the best, and we had it for many years! This is a side of these two entertainers you hardly ever saw but it shows you their enormous talent. Bob Hope, the best of the comedians, and Jimmy Cagney…mostly cast as the bad guy, gangster in the movies.
 Turn up sound and click  on………..

Finding Purpose

After posting this a.m. about my need for purpose, I found this note from Ron. It is taped to my desk and surely I must have seen it before??? But I don’t remember it. Here it is…..

Hello B. J. W.

Just a little note to let B.J.W know she is the love of my life for the rest of my life, which should last for another 60 years or so.

Be ready, My Love, to tell the world of my God and my love for you.

Love R.M.W.

God answers your prayers in the most astonishing ways…..

The Help

I saw  the hit movie, The Help, yesterday and this line caught my attention.  “Go find your life, Miss Skeeter.”

It brought me to tears because I am trying to find my life. For over 50 years, my chief life purpose has been to be with Ron, maintain our relationship, be his best friend, lover and confidant and finally caregiver.

Now as  I struggle to find fresh purpose, this one thing I know.

For He, God Himself has said, “I will not in any way fail you nor give you up, nor leave you without support.

I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree, leave your helpless nor forsake you, nor let you down, or relax my hold on you! Assuredly not! (Hebrews 13:5-Amplified)

Now if God says something once, it is worth listening to.

If He says it twice it must be important.

But three times? I am sitting up and paying attention.

In fact, I think I will stand in that promise. Brenda J Wood