Surfacing for Air

I’m the first to admit that I’ve had a rough month. March contains our anniversary and Ron’s birthday. Two big, special days that we celebrated with abandon and gusto every year. Ron loved a party and he got a big one almost every birthday with specially large ones on his 65th and 70th.

I’m concentrating on those memeories now, so glad we made a fuss over our anniversaries too. What could you celebrate with your loved ones today? Make it worth while…you never know. It might be the last one you have together. We didn’t. Hugs…Brenda J Wood

When I don’t write

Lately,I’ve discovered a few new things about blogging.

If I don’t write, you don’t read.

If you do read, you might not like what you read.

If you don’t like what you read, then you don’t read.

See what a merry-go–round we travel together.

I haven’t been writing because I had nothing more to say. It’s like my book, Meeting Myself. I could have added lots more details but I couldn’t bear to talk about abuse for one more minute.

Well, right now, I don’t care to talk about being a widow, being alone, whatever, for one more minute. That doesn’t change the fact that I still have to live it for a lifetime.


When I wrote “Meeting Myself, Snippets from a Binging and Bulging Mind,” I had to paw through tons of mind garbage that I would rather not have revisited. Some days I felt like Paul in a Roman prison, waist deep in a sewer. Truths I never wanted to see again surfaced into sight from a boiling pool of oil. Thankfully that oil changed from the type that made me cry ‘burn me into ashes, erase all these memories,’ into the healing balm of the Holy Spirit.

The book helped me clean out my personal junk storage and readers say it’s helping them with their own abuse/eating issues.

Yet I still wonder about the mind of the abuser. I ask myself if they care that they left a shattered person behind them. Surely if they did they would never abuse. Would they? It is said that abusers have themselves been abused. If they met that pain, endured that horror, surely they would not want to inflict it on another. Would they?

The Bible gives fair warning to all who abuse. Oh yes it does. Check out Matthew 18:6-7.

“But if you give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck. Doom to the world for giving these God-believing children a hard time! Hard times are inevitable, but you don’t have to make it worse—and it’s doomsday to you if you do (MSG)

A millstone is one of two massive circular stones used to grind grain in a mill. You can see one at any farming museum. Picture a person with their head through the center of that. God takes child abuse seriously.

Yet we, the abused, remain shattered. Or do we? Not if we receive the healing offered through the Christ.  Not if we let our minds be renewed and declare our bodies as God’s.

What has God called you to face that seems unendurable? Whatever it is, God’s Holy Spirit will get you through it.

Prayer: Lord, give us, the abused children of your world, your grace, healing and peace. Grant a sensible mind to those who abuse so that they might be willing to walk a new life that no longer includes an attack on the powerless. In Jesus’ Name. Amen

Oh that Coat!

I bought an orange coat with our farm tax money. Young and foolish? Certainly. Sorry for ever after? Absolutely. Many a marriage flew gone down the drain for less. What made the difference in ours? Yes, my hubby was tender-hearted. Yes, he loved me more than the tax money.

However, before our marriage, we consciously decided that the word divorce would never cross our lips. We were in it through thick and then. Ron suffered through episodes like the coat while I suffered through episodes of shame and personal unforgiveness. In fact I wore that coat to shreds for the shame of it.

Ron also suffered through sleepless nights when I woke screaming after nightmares of childhood abuse.

I could continue with my list of personal failures. Yet if you asked Ron who got the best deal in our marriage, he would tell you that he did. Go figure.

That’s what forgiving love looks like. Each one wills to forgive the other. Each one loves the other just the way they are……and helps them grow to a new, healthier place.

Malachi 2:16– For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate]. (AMP)

Prayer: Lord when we choose getting our own way over love, call us to our senses….Amen.

Our 49th Wedding Anniversary

Everyone tells me that the first year is hard simply because of all the ‘firsts’ alone. March 2nd, our 49th wedding anniverary loomed in front of me. Family and friends went out of their way to be there for me.

So many called and wanted to spend time with me that day. People who have my devotional book ‘Heartfelt, 366 Devotions for Common Sense Living’ read about our marriage on the day and called or sent E mails.

Some kept secret the fact that family would travel hundreds of mile to be here. What a surprise! This sounds simple until you factor in three children under five, March weather and time off work. Family fixed my dryer, sat with me and on occasion cried with me. Of all women I am most blessed. Thank you all for remembering…..I am remembering you all with thanksgiving in my prayers.

Belinda’s Mom

As a follower of Belinda’s blog (Whatever He says) I feel like I know her family. Her Mom has been in poor health for quite a while and she just passed into the arms of Jesus. Two lines from her last blog caught my attention.

The first from a beloved Grandaughter

‘”It’s Uncle Bob,” she says, between her soft sobs, “Omie has died.”

The next from Belinda’s brother, Rob who was with Mum when she passed.The kindnesses of the nurses comforted him.  He said. How sweet kindness feels to a heart that is laid raw.

What a profound statement. I understand that so well because of the many kindnesses to me over this past few months.

So if you will…pray comfort and peace for the family. Pray that their raw hearts will begin to experience the tender healing of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen

Getting Your Copy

Several of you have asked where you can get your copy of Meeting Myself, Snippets from a Binging and Bulging Mind. You can get it at Amazon or if you like you can wait and order it after it gets into bookstores. Chapters can get it for you…or you can just order it from me… Cost is 14.00 which includes postage…

Gift from a Friend-Review!

Are you tired of these reveiws? I am so blessed that people love my book. You’d have to read it to understand why it means so much to me….anyway enjoy Louise Aspden’s words and sign on to her blog. LIFE: The Flip Side -A look at life on the flip side of FIFTY

My review of a great little book… MEETING MYSELF: Snippets of a Binging and Bulging Mind by Brenda J. Wood

At first glance the cover of this book tells you it is about someone who has an eating disorder. Which is true. But what it doesn’t tell you is how intimately Brenda reveals her struggle with her own self loathing and how she slowly is able to find her way back to loving herself and healing through her faith. Her sense of humour and clever use of metaphor gently carries the reader through her painful and inspiring journey. I received many gifts from this book that either enlightened me or reinforced what I already believed.

Gift Number One: Eating disorders of all kinds come from a place of self-loathing. Mostly, self-loathing comes from a history of physical or emotional abuse. Brenda journals “I always believed I would be a better person if only I were thin.” Cognitively we know that thin people are not better people nor are overweight people unlovable. But in the self-loathing mind, creating a flawed exterior provides a false sense of security. Without that mask, they have to look at and deal with the “why” which is the pain that got them there. There is much less agony in the moment to just keep binging.

Gift Number Two: In her struggle with her faith in god she writes, “He must not love me. That is why I am unable to love him back.” I am beginning to believe that true faith (of any kind) will only be achieved if you feel you are loveable. Even a glimmer of the beautiful light of love or worthiness can be the impetus for change. Brenda sees that glimmer through God and the shift begins to take hold.

Gift Number Three: Even after conquering the bulimic beast, the suffering still continued. Brenda writes: “God started to point out that total freedom involves forgiveness.” This is something I firmly believe and try to live by. Forgiveness is a selfish act. Without it you will never be able to shed your past and live fully in the moment. Gift Number Four: She realized that “He (God) was seeking righteous fruit, not a religious nut.” I am fortunate to know Brenda. I admire her in many ways. One of which is her quiet and steady faith. I was raised in the midst of a family that included some confused, judgmental and disingenuous church goers. I think that they confused the “doing” of being a Christian with the “being” of a Christian. Brenda’s wisdom and humour is a true gift to any reader. I encourage you to join her on her journey of courage and enlightenment. You won’t regret it.

Meeting Myself is available on AMAZON & GREAT CANADIAN AUTHOR. Bookstores, schools, churches and ministries may purchase copies directly through Word Alive Inc., by calling customer services at 1-800-665-1468 or through the website: WORLDALIVE.CA More from Brenda J. Wood: Heartfelt Devotionals