Category Archives: humor

By Nine (Formerly Brenda)

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It’s not a big issue really but I have one phone that sticks on the number 9. No matter when I try to dial a number, it always seems to have a nine in it. And the nine sticks firmly and throws off my dialing finger.

Now my phones came in a set of four so it’s not really a problem except that no matter where I am, that sticky phone seems to be the one I pick up!

I thought about how my life’s sticky keys; my trouble spots, that stir me into trouble every single day. Only if I turn my stickiness over to God will I ever get unstuck.

I think I will call myself nine…to remind myself that sticky doesn’t have to be me…only my phone.

Our isolation may have uncovered some of our stickiness. There is only one way to cope with our bad habits. .Let us not despair, for with God’s help we can conquer anything.

You might like to read Romans 8:26-37, but for now I offer you Romans 8:26, NIV.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (Romans 8:26, NIV)

Prayer- Lord, you know our stuck-ness. Help us to be more like you! Amen.

 

 

 

Weird Thoughts to Make Your Day

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One
Q. Why is a dentist like a far north adventurer on a polar expedition?
A. One goes on a polar expedition and the other expedites your molar.

Two
The invention of the shovel was ground-breaking, but the invention of the broom swept the nation!

Three
One moment you are twenty in the seventies and the next, you are seventy in the twenties!

Yes these are definitely silly groaners. I fully admit it, but sometimes a little laughing cheers up someone who has the right to be groaning.

My groans are many and my heart is faint.”(Lamentations 1:22 b, NIV)

And in the midst of that, along comes the Holy Spirit who groans on our behalf. Praise God!

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (Romans 8:26, NIV)

Rest in the knowledge that no matter what, God’s got this!

Prayer- Lord, whatever our groans today, we thank you that you hear us. Amen.

 

 

 

 

Brenda on Dela’s Voice

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You should be able to find it on the address below or on Dela’s Voice on Facebook.

It’s an hour long and you will find out much more about me than you ever hoped to!!

https://www.facebook.com/delasvoice/videos/2588500427927092/

Let me know what you think! Brenda

No One Expected Me

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Surprise in Heaven

I dreamt death came the other night
And Heaven’s gate swung wide.
An angel with a halo bright
Ushered me inside.

And there! To my astonishment
Stood folks I’d judged and labelled
As “quite unfit”, “of little worth”,
And “spiritually disabled”.

Indignant words rose to my lips
But never were set free,
For every face showed stunned surprise —
Not one expected me!

(Anonymous)

Perfect Potato Salad

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Once again there is a request for my potato salad; and why not. It is potato salad time! Enjoy.

Keys to Brenda’s Potato Salad Success

1/  You must use Kraft Miracle Whip salad dressing.

2/  Make the potato salad 1-2 days before serving.

Ingredients:

Potatoes, peeled, cooked, drained and mashed or cubed

3-4 chopped hard-cooked eggs (save one for garnish)

chopped green onions to taste

salt and pepper to taste

Kraft Miracle Whip salad dressing

paprika

The mix must be rather sloppy because the potatoes keep sucking up the mayo.   If you have it just right at first, it will be too dry after sitting a day or so.

Place mix in a nice bowl, add sliced egg in some pattern or other.  Sprinkle with plain paprika and refrigerate. After it is cooled, cover with plastic wrap till serving.

If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”(Genesis 4:7, NIV)

Folks if you don’t add enough Kraft salad dressing you will have sin AND dry potato salad crouching at your door!

Prayer- Lord, it is so simple to follow instructions and get the right recipe. The same is true of life with Christ. Help us do both exactly right. Amen.

Smile Please

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Smiling is infectious you can catch it like the flu.

When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.

I walked around the corner and someone saw me grin.

When he smiled I realized I had passed it on to him.

I thought about the smile, and then realized its worth.

A single smile like mine could travel round the earth.

So if you feel a smile begin don’t leave it undetected.

Start an epidemic and get the world infected (by Spike Milligan)

God bless you and keep you, God smile on you and gift you,

God look you full in the face and make you prosper. (Numbers 6:24-26, MSG)

Fat Chance

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God says we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (From Philippians 4:13) Does he mean even when I have one arm in a sling….I think so!

Then I ask myself why I am still fighting that last ten pounds?

It is long after the Christmas season and I continue to struggle on. (Notice that I haven’t spent much time on that topic yet this year!)

Contrary to our opinion, the Bible actually says that we can be perfect. Thankfully the meaning is also complete and lacking nothing essential.’ Listen to this!

But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing. (James 1:4, AMP)

Possibly that last ten pounds is only our own lack of perseverance. Let’s face our own shortcomings and our own truth without blaming God for our lack-a-daisy attitude.

Prayer- Lord, let us meet next year with ten less pounds than this year. Amen.

God’s sense of humour

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This is the devotional i sent to Everyday Christian a few weeks ago   now God sends my own words to me as I nurse my own worry and this broken arm…  okay God  I get the message.

Worry Wort

Do you worry? Nothing I say here will change that. That is your personal choice. As a worrier you must enjoy being bothered, sleepless and unsettled. You must crave anxiety and useless concern.

You love restlessness, irritability and muscle tension. You enjoy headaches, nausea, and numbness in both hands and feet. You live with twitching, hot flashes and rashes. Of course, you must experience all these symptoms and more because you keep on doing it; worrying that is.

There is a cure, but you don’t bother with it because you like your current state of discomfort. That must be so because otherwise, you would have chosen the cure for worry.

Therefore I tell you, stop being perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing?
And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life?
And why should you be anxious about clothes? Consider the lilies of the field and learn how they grow; they neither toil nor spin.

But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and green and tomorrow is tossed into the furnace, will He not much more surely clothe you, O you of little faith?
Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, what are we going to have to eat? Or, what are we going to have to drink? Or, what are we going to have to wear? (From Matthew 6:25-31, AMP)

Horrible Habits

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EVERYDAY CHRISTIAN

I am surely speaking to an orderly crowd with no bad habits showing in any way. Unfortunately, you are reading a writer who has quite a few she is still trying to overcome.

Our bad habits are travel agents for guilt as we struggle with them and our failure to overcome them. The trouble is that we love our bad habits, don’t we?

Ice cream is one of my weaknesses. I like it way too much, way too much for comfort, weight loss, and common sense. I fail to control that bad ice cream habit when I purposely drive by my favorite store that sells my favorite flavor (with chocolate sauce on top!)

I could take another street to my destination but somehow I enjoy the torment of driving past (or into) what torments me.

I say enough is enough. What can we do today to help ourselves overcome the thing that we hate and yet that we continue to do?

Still Laughing

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I actually teach a seminar on humor because I think there isn’t much of it going on in today’s world. I am not alone. See the esteemed folks and their quotes below.

“Humour is the great thing, the saving thing, after all. The minute it crops up, all of our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.” -Mark Twain

“Trouble knocked at the door but hearing laughter hurried away. ” -Benjamin Franklin

“You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.” – Jay Leno

“A day without laughter is a day wasted. ” -Charlie Chaplin

“Laughter is a mini vacation. ” -Milton Berle

“Laughter is the closest distance between two people. ” -Victor Borge

“From there to here and here to there funny things are everywhere.” – Dr. Seuss

Never let it be said that God doesn’t have anything to say on the topic!

Then were our mouths filled with laughter, and our tongues with singing. Then they said among the nations, The Lord has done great things for them. (Psalm 26:2, AMP)

He will yet fill your mouth with laughter [Job] and your lips with joyful shouting. (Job 8:21, AMP)