I like to watch The Waltons–it’s heartwarming and wise BUT TODAY??? That John-Boy made me so mad!!Grandma is in the hospital and Grandpa is lonely. He describes himself as heartsick.
John-Boy gives him a ‘we care too, Grandpa’ speech…AND then has the nerve to suggest that as the head of the family, Grandpa should do better so the rest won’t feel so bad!!!!!!!.
What! Grandpa (s) and Grandma(s) can’t grieve cause we have to make the family feel better!! You have got to be kidding me. I did allude to this in The Pregnant Pause of Grief as something we may try to do for others, but NOT at the expense of our own grief.
Today is Ron’s special day. It is the day we’ll all talk about what a great guy he is (sorry-Sometimes I forget and talk in present tense.) We will share memories with one another. Then we will all eat birthday cake. (Yes, you heard right. I ordered ten cakes from Costco. They say “Welcome Home.”) After all, we are celebrating the day he went to be with Jesus.
Ron thoroughly disliked ‘funeral’ food. Musty tuna salad with mayo and pickles, ham chopped up beyond recognition, egg salad without onion, and phoney turkey made him leery. He would say, “There’s hardly ever a decent roast beef sandwich in the lot.”
Of course there’s always squares. Diabetics don’t eat squares. You can see why he often talked of a Wendy’s burger after these occasions.
So that is our day. After the cake we will all go home. Most everyone will chat on the way. They will discuss how awful the food was, how great the music, and how maudlin the family speeches.
But today, I drive in lonely silence toward a lonely home.
Brenda J Wood